Portable God

A sudden intake of air is followed by a squeal. “Mommy!!!” My baby girl calls my name and her feet do a dance on the mattress of her crib. She runs across the crib and grabs her bear, scooting back to the rail as quick as she can, lifting one arm for me to lift her.

She motions with her other arm wrapped tightly around her coveted animal. “Bear wif us,” she tells me. “Bear wif us.” She repeats herself until I assure her that bear can come “wif us” to get some breakfast downstairs…

Join me today at the Cafe. Click HERE to read the rest of my devotion.

And would you allow me to ask for prayer? I’m preparing to go to New Mexico next week for a writer’s conference. I will be taking two book proposals with me. Would you pray for the following requests:

-Baby Grace is sick today. Please pray I am able to finish all preparations for the trip.

-Pray the rest of the family, including me, will stay healthy.

-Pray for God to go before me and prepare a way.

-Pray for His will to be done.

-Pray protection for me as I travel, but also for my family back home.

-Pray for my friend Amy, who is traveling with me. Her son has epilepsy. Pray for noseizures while she is gone.

Thank you sweet friends! I love you!


The Smell of Normal

I walk in at her prompting; she’d called my name over and over like the non-stop hum of the a/c. “Mamamamamama.” My entrance stops her mid-stream,and she exchanges chatter for grins.

Her little brown eyes pool in my heart; my eyes follow with tiny puddles of their own. She hands me her bear and points at the pacifier on the floor at my feet. Handing back the paci is routine, and I wait for her to drop back in the bed feigning how she doesn’t want to leave it. She does it every day.

And I go along – inviting her to breakfast downstairs, asking if she slept well, begging for morning kisses, reaching out my arms. She babbles in reply, sometimes giggling and hiding her face in the pink blanket she loves.

As I wait for her to stand, my heart pulls and stretches to full. This is my life.

I close my eyes and breathe in deep. My nose is filled with the smell of it.

The smell of normal.

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 KJV

Relish today in your own normal. Drink in each moment.


Looking for Grace

We rode in silence neither attempting to open our mouths. I didn’t dare look at him. I couldn’t. His face so familiar; I couldn’t bear to read his thoughts. I didn’t want to see his hurt. It was night. We left as late as we could, not wanting to admit we had to go. His hand reached across the space between us and spoke what neither of us could voice.

I’m here.

I closed my eyes thinking perhaps when I opened them again I would return to reality – the reality I wished for. I strained my ears wanting to hear a baby in the car seat behind me, but it sat empty, straps flopped open. I thought of my baby girl and my heart screamed out “turn around” as we placed more miles between us. How could we leave her?

There was something so wrong about our departure. No nurse pushed me to the car with a pink bundle wrapped tightly in my lap. We pushed our cart of luggage to the car alone and loaded it easily. No excitement. No fanfare. No photos.

No baby.

I tried focusing on the good night’s sleep I’ll be getting, but I know I won’t. Each night since her birth, I’ve awoken in the middle of the night missing her. My tears don’t hurry her progress, but I shed them nonetheless. It’s Friday night and traffic is heavy as people scurry about eating dinner, going to movies, and shopping. I want them to stop. Don’t they know my world is off kilter? How can they sit and laugh over cheesecake and frappachinos?

Even as I think it, I know I was doing the same only days before, while others drove about hurting.

I breathe in deep – the one simple act I wish my newborn child could master – and tell myself His grace is sufficient.

Cover me, Lord. I’m getting drenched in this storm. I need your shelter. Assure me you are close by. Help me to be thankful for the blessings. I know there are many. It’s just that today, I’m having a hard time voicing them. Is that okay, Abba?

Grace Caroline Hatcher was born 9-9-09 at 8:51 a.m. She was 9 lbs. 8 oz. but was 4 wks early. She is currently in the NICU while waiting for her lungs to develop a little more fully. Today she is also under the photo light to help her jaundice. Please pray for her to grow quickly so she can return home with us. Please also pray for the many other babies in the NICU. We are not the only ones.